Hanging on/The Long Haul #9

[WCW]

Thanks shocked.
Phoenix, after my last fiasco months ago to engage in a higher level than G rated, it's easy to remember how much that stings and refrain from something more.

Yesterday was a rough day for me, I kinda let my emotions get battered about. First thing when I got to work was a report from a guy that I helped find a romantic hotel room for him and his wife, and he told me about the room they selected…… bah humbug. Oh wait, that’s a different holiday. I got a few flowers for my desk, and comments are I must’ve been very good to get flowers from H. Well, um, no, not a chance he’d send me flowers. I blew that years ago and he’s never let me forget it, and in his words - will never send flowers again. I emailed with my ‘best friend’ thru out the day, and while that is normally a great source of comfort and support, yesterday was an off day. H stopped home for a few minutes to pick up his ski stuff, he was pretty gruff and never really said hi, and when he left I was walking across the yard and he got in his truck, rolled down the window and hollered see ya later. I waved. I was in bed when he got home, his arrivals home from skiing have never gone well, so I changed it this time and went to bed. He came in and talked to me. That's a first for this season.

Horse therapy helped a little bit. Just a mindless ride on my favorite horse. Finally, something that didn’t mind being with me! And the dogs of course, unconditional love from the dogs.

My good news from yesterday is the monthly electric bill is going down again. Yeah! That means that since H got hurt and I changed things around, the monthly bill has dropped an average of $100 per month. Good electricity management, pat ME on the back!!

Today is Valentines Day. I’m dealing with it. I got H some of his favorite flavored coffee and wrote on the container Happy Valentines Day with a smiley face. No card, no ecard, nothing else. He would expect and be ready to reject anything more from me, so I didn’t set myself up for it. We didn’t see each other this morning, he was in the shower when I left, I called out and said I was headed out, he said ok, I said Happy Valentines, he said what? I said Happy Valentines. No response. I got to work and at least my boss walked by with a cheery Happy Valentines Day, I wished him back. And while I’ve been typing, I got a text mssge from H – thanks for the coffee, happy v day. Total surprise!

For me, back to basics. Find and stick with what makes me happy. Today I will put on my happy face while I take my Mom to a womens only lunch, go to a Vendor Day at a supply store, and a meeting tonight. And it won’t be THAT hard to do, to put on my happy face. After all, I DO look good today!!!