Hanging on/The Long Haul #9

[optimist2004]

OK, WCW, I'm going to level with you...and I might regret it, because I know you're supposed to always look at the little baby steps, always look at the positives, always keep saying always... But, one could also say this is like trying to live off the tiny scraps the your S sends your way. AND having to be grateful about it! WTF?!?!?

Focus on the positives, I'm not sure. That hasn't worked for me in the past, so shouldn't I quit doing it? Do something that works?

I think I've spent so much time focusing on the marriage and baby steps and little positives, that I would get out of focus.

Like I've said before, there is a Grand Canyon gap, it's hard to look at something so minute and say Yeah!!

The FedEx man just came in for a pick up, we exchanged a few sentences, smiled and laughed, and then he winked at me. Now, if that was my H, you would all be saying OH, what a positive!! But really, isn't this just day to day life? part of daily interactions with people? Just because the guy laughed and winked doesn't mean we will have a great relationship. At this point, I don't feel much different about my H.

You know what I have to say to all this?..."You're right."
You're right. You're right. You're right. And if I was being a good DBer I'd add "so now are you HAPPY, or just right." But, I'm not going to do that. Probably because I'm getting a little tired of all the putting-aside-of-your-needs-for-the-WAS stuff right now (pessamistic "Optimist2004" talking ). But, more importantly because...you DO seem to be at least happIER.

I know you follow Piglet's threads, and I have tried to keep up now and again. So, I think you'll understand when I say you seem to be moving in her direction a little. You're detaching. But, will H start treating you right before you go from detachING to being totally detached (i.e. a WAS yourself)?