He has a thread in SSM. need help with boundaries.
I know your pain and fear jabez and not wanting to do anything to make the distance greater. Unfortunately fear is going to cause you to freeze and do the wrong thing. Its nearly impossible to see it when you are in the mix of course. the best thing you can do is take care of you and acknowledge you cant control the outcome. I do know that untill you reach this place, this state of mind, and act in accordance with it, its going to stay the same and/or get worse.
What would happen if you said NO. to your W about the girls staying over during the week? Just NO. Yes its inconvenient for her. Yes she misses them. Those are caused by her choices. If she threatens with lawyers? That too is her choice. You dont have to explain, you dont have to create a situation. Just No, they cant stay there. Youve said your piece, thats that. Its not enforceable of course, your not going over there to get them, she can do what she wants --including ignore your NO. I am curious what would happen.
