I'm not sure if that helps you but perhaps if you look at your wife as being someone who is unhappy and doesn't know why.
WCB,
I couldn't agree more. I've come to the conclusion that WAW is unhappy and it's not me, our R or our M. It's something deep inside her. The only way that I can "help" is to stay out of her way and let her work thru it herself. I think that WAW has an idea as to why she is unhappy, but to face it and deal w/it terrifies her.
