Jabez- I hope you don't feel like anything I said was harsh. I can imagine how difficult it is to have to subject your girls to divorce in the first place and clearly you feel you have a better home for them. I just really feel that you think that one of the consequences of WAW leaving the M is for her R with her daughters to suffer. However, it doesn't have to be that way, I guess it's between WAW and the girls. I was just saying that I think it would be great for your girls if they could have a great R with both parents, both R's encouraged and nurtured by both parents. Two homes. Two families. Since that's the way it has to be.
Since Oct 2004, she has chosen to be a part-time Mom.
Exactly why do you say that? Do you think she's neglected the girls or are you saying that because her decision to cheat and destroy the family was not in the best interest of her daughters?
I'm not a licensed psychologist, but I think that I could get you and many other lay people as well as mental health professionals to agree that I what I think is in the best interest of the girls is really not an unreasonable plan.
Jabez, reasonable is a very subjective term and changes depending on whose perspective you're looking from. I didn't say your plan was unreasonable. Even parents who go for full custody have their reasons and I'm not trying to judge your reasons or your custody agreement. I guess I feel like I know the position you are in because when I was contemplating D, when I had H served, I had to do some really serious thinking about custody. I wanted my kids the majority of the time. I could come up with lots of reasons why it was best for them. But in my heart, in my heart, I knew I didn't have any more right to these human beings than my H does. In your situation, you may feel differently and you're certainly entitled to feel differently. I just think that mindset will create more of a tug of war between yourself, WAW and the girls and less coparenting is going to occur if that attitude shines through. And I think coparenting would be a really great goal to shoot for, whether you have primary custody, joint custody or full custody. I hope you see where I'm coming from and don't think I'm just trying to be a creep. I consider myself your friend and I hope you do too.
I'm sorry you're having a bad day, I hope it gets better. At least it's Friday!!
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
