(WCB) Hopefully the meeting with the 3rd L will be helpful for you and your W. Compromise where you can but do keep your boundaries in place.
I plan to continue the 180's that I've been working on. Listen for operative words, ask questions, validate feelings and setting boundaries by being kind, gentle, respectful and firm.
(WCB) Did you ever talk with OM's mom? I wonder what she had to say.
Not yet. The summit is set for next Tue. She's sent me 2 short emails. Her emails in the past have mentioned her heartache and pain. Those feelings were noticeably absent from the 2 recent emails, she even wished me well with an exclamation point. I believe that "good news" is possible, but I'm keeping my expectations in check.
(WCB) I do think we have to step outside our comfort zones in this process.
This has been the most difficult part of the process for me.
(WCB) What type of dogs do you have?
A 6-yr-old male black lab and a 6-yr-old male golden. Lots of energy and I love 'em!
(WB) It's like I'm scarred to let it go because it's the last link between me and my marriage (that sounds sick, but do you know what I mean?)
Actually I think that anger is the link b/w me and the A, b/w me and the D, b/w me and the custody suit, b/w me and my old R/M. I've come to see that my anger is energy and this energy feeds the A, the D process and the custody suit. My anger "steals" energy from me to do constructive things in my life. It sounds trite, but it's my decision to be angry, and I doubt that many would deny us our "right" to be angry, but it is also our decision as to how much energy we feed into our anger and how much of our lives we let the anger affect. We must expend some of our energy to control the anger so that we have energy for other areas of our lives that need it (children, family, friends, work, home, S's, DBing).
