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I have been through the same schedule (jump through her hoops) thing. I did jump through BB's hoops and the more I did, the less she worked on the MC enviroment as a whole.
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I am already skeptical. When I asked her (last week) if we should reschedule for another night this week, she said "I guess" - no real motivation there. As it turned out, the MC's schedule was full anyway. Then now next week of course she doesn't want to go on Valentine's Day. I doubt she has anything planned for us, probably just concerned that we would actually be attending counseling on a day that is supposed to be romantic between couples. In a way I can see her point about V-Day, but I definitely do feel like I am jumping through her hoops.
Based on my current experience, I think you are right on the money about how "people that are not willing to find solutions to differences, use any and all excuses to not get out of their center of the universe seat." I suggested MC over one year ago, but she never really seemed interested and felt that we could work through the problems on our own. In reality, she didn't address any of the issues that I had with her so that got us nowhere. Around the same time, I suggested that we visit the bookstore together and pick out a relationship book that looks good, and work through it together. This never happened, so I went out and got one on my own - Harley's "His Needs Her Needs". One night, I finally got her to look at it with me and she picked it apart - finding 'faults' with it. She never looked at it with me again. I was thrilled that I finally got her to session #1 with the MC, and now I am finding a similar pattern. Oh - and with the first MC session she said that she would be more affectionate specifically through more passionate kissing, and more hugs. I haven't seen even one remote change in the two weeks since that time. This is why I really need to get both of us back in there!
You asked if this is how I would want to live for the next 10/30 years, and the answer is definitely NO. This whole counseling thing is pretty much my last attempt at working through things. The question is - is my fiancee REALLY going to join me in this attempt. Time will tell.
P.S. - thanks for the information regarding the colonoscopy. It will allow me to understand what she is going through tonight and tomorrow.
