MommyH- Thanks for your words and the book recommendation. I'm almost done with D7's Narnia books, lol, so I'll check into that next. And thanks for reminding me, I DO deserve better.
Sara - Yes Oldtimer likes to cut thru the BS and calls 'em like she sees them. I'm hoping she adopts me! Seriously, she's has a way of saying it and gtting it to sink in.
Oldtimer - thanks for following up. I'm still thinking about both of your posts and plan on responding...later, after the kiddies are down.
Quick journal for the day - I'm proud of myself! SO started at 8 AM! Calling/texting, then got here around 12:30 (which was late, yet he called to tell me that he knew he said he was going to be here at noon and wanted me to know he was running late - WTH - that is something new!).
Yesterday, after seeing that crap, I told him (in pretty rudimentary terms I can repeat - if ya'all want - they were pretty good ) - anyway pretty much saying no more sex between us. Well, he's got that in his mind now and it's the only thought he seems to have.
He tried to play it off as a joke and I told him I found it offensive and because we were still sleeping together I didn't find it funny. I told him that if we were ever going to do that again we needed to be on the same page about it and we weren't right now.
In the end, I stood my ground, in a nice way. I'm still thinking everything thru and I do not want to be pressured into anything. If he doesn't like it, well, at this point -too damned bad.
I mean up until the other day, it was my choice to continue the physical R with him. I hadn't felt used by it; I was a little skeptical if I should continue - I mean I wasn't burying my head in the sand or anything, I knew he had a PA with this girl, but NOW - that remark changed everything. So I have to sort through those thoughts before anything further happens in that area.
Other than fighting off the octopus, LOL, the day was OK. I went out for a bit; he stayed with the girls. I made him take baby duty while I took a nap. He laid down next to me and wouldn't leave, but I stayed under the covers and wouldn't give in. We ate dinner....I know, OT - the comforts of home. Wasn't sure what to do there. It didn't seem right that we eat without asking him - may have to re-think & change that in the future.
I also had gathered some more of his clothes and told him to take them with him. He asked if he could take the old DVD player (he replaced it with a new one last week or so) - I let him take it. He played with the kids for a bit while I made myself busy in other parts of the house until it was time for him to go. He gave me a hug, thought he might be headed for a kiss but I turned my head because I didn't want to kiss him if that wasn't what he was doing. So we just hugged goodbye.
Be back later with thoughts and QUESTIONS!!! on OT's posts.
Oh - I forgot. He did something strange - he took the phone off the hook the whole time he was here. I didn't say anything, I let it slide this time, but found it curious.
And, when he was leaving, he mentioned something about not being able to come here tomorrow. I actually told him "That's OK, I've got to go out. I've got some things to do."
Seriously, she's has a way of saying it and gtting it to sink in.
