Thanks Sara - it's enough to know you're out there! And thanks, OT. As always, your comments & advice are very appreciated. I keep seeing myself as that ugly little dog Toto, begging for a scrap - not a very flattering picture to see of one's self.
With that picture in my head, I realize that I need to take a breather from all of this. I need to work on me. Not half-assed like I've been. But completely & truly for me & my children. If I admit it to myself, I've been doing things with the intent (consciously or otherwise) of trying to get more of those "scraps" from SO. Maybe hoping it would lead to a bigger meal. No matter, time to stop that way of thinking.
I don't know what I'm going to do from here on out. I know I need to start at the beginning, again. That's always the best place to start. I just don't know what that means right now. Since I'm a "list" person - I need to start by making a list of what I need to do to get back on my feet - without SO. Job; daycare; visitation schedule.
