One week that SO has moved out. I'm very sad today. I couldn't sleep very well last night, woke up to D& in bed with me. She was getting sick (cold) last night and I gave some medicine which made her go to sleep early - 7:30. SO placed his usual 8 pm call and I had no choice but to answer it. (Not answering would only have resulted in him calling back.) I was a little short with him - I didn't want him to feel obligated to talk to me and I didn't modulate my voice very well. He picked up on it and texted me about it. Also emailed me this morning about it. I know I have to work on this - then, on the other hand, I sometimes just don't really give a damn what he thinks.
On top of that, I got an email from his dad & stepmother wanting to know how "I" was; if I'm moving back their way. I'm stuck in the position now of having to decide if I should tell them he moved out or what. I really don't want to be in this position. It seems as though everyone (his family, mine) are all on "my" side, this fuels SO's anger - towards them and towards me. Like I have anything to do with how they perceive HIS behavior. It's part of the reason I've been avoiding everyone.
I'm worried about things. I think with him out of the house - it's so much easier for me to give up. Once I give up - I fear there won't be any chance. I've been looking at the clothes he left here...looking around what used to be "our" bedroom. I want to put them away; I want to re-do the bedroom. I have the time to do it today. I know what it signifies to me - putting the stuff out of sight will help me realize he's not here anymore. Another door being closed. I wonder what it would signify to SO. I wonder why I care what it means to him. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
