Today was quiet. As it turned out, being nice, I told SO if he didn't want to come here today, I would understand. My exact words "I wanted to say if you don't want to come out here today - that's OK, too. You've seen the girls for the last couple of days, so I understand if you need some time to yourself. That would be OK, and I'll leave the final decision up to you." Never thought he'd take me up on the offer, but he did.
Then he called, making sure it was "OK" if he didn't come out; babbling on about how he needed to go buy new shoes; had other things to do; was tired. I emailed him about a joke we had going back & forth and added to the email: "And, for whatever reasons you DON'T come here, I don't want you to feel like you have to explain yourself about it. You don't. Share with me what you want; keep to yourself what you want. OK? And that doesn't mean I don't want to hear what you have to say. I do, I just don't want to pry into anything that I shouldn't. OK? OK. lol"
His reply when he got to his place, that "I always tell you whats going on, and never feel obligated".
Lesson learned for the day - do not suggest something unless you really mean it. Yet, if he didn't want to be here, its just as well that he wasn't. I do not want him here if he does not willingly choose to be here - not for the girls, and not for me. He is his own person, free to make up his own mind.
