Yikeees, I thought OT was a man!

And yes, I have read some of OT's other posts and find them incredibly helpful and insightful. Sometimes what we don't want to hear is exactly what we need to hear. Hard as it is.

I realize I've screwed up for so long, I'm beginning to doubt everything I do. I thought I was trying to keep at a distance for awhile - but he's pushing this stuff. I thought I was trying to step back and clear my head a little and I wasn't ready for him to both move out and take the kids all within 5 days. Mix it in with his confusion, his conflicting words/actions - boy, I'm a wreck. And I don't want to be that way.

My self-pitying statement about him not coming home is just that...self-pitying. I don't necessarily believe it, just my bad mood coming out.

I always thought I was incredibly open-minded. I always thought that I was willing & open to new ideas. SO always seemed to be the one "set in his ways" and disinterested in anyone's opinion - especially if it was in direct contrast to his opinion. It's interesting to realize there's different ways to be "controlling"; although I have to admit, I was trying to control this situation with the kids for my own self-serving purposes. I know one of the issues with the OW is that she wants to meet his family and the kids. This was stated to me by her mother 2 months ago. I hope they all get sick and puke all over her. LMAO! Sorry kids - I really don't want you to get sick - but I do want her covered with vomit. And a little poop under the finger nails for good measure.

OK - so, here's a rough draft of an email to..well, whatever I'm supposed to call him these days....

"I apologize, SO. For being a potential b!tch about all this. You're right, there's no real reason why you shouldn't spend time with the kids this weekend.

I would like to express my preference that no one else be there until we have had time to transition thru this. I may be confusing my feelings with the kids feelings, but I thought I would ask you to at least consider this.

With this in mind, we should probably set up a mutually agreeable visitation schedule so that we can avoid unnecessary conflicts in the future. If you can give me a tentative schedule of when you would like to take them, I would really appreciate it."

So - anyone and everyone please critique as you see fit. I need all the help I can these days!