Does that make any sense to anyone? I find it disgusting that he would put so much energy into that R instead of "us". We've been together for 9 years, we have 3 little children, and some girl 10 years younger than him is the one he puts effort into? I don't get it. To me, if he put even 1/4 of the effort into "us" that he puts into that, our R would instantly turn around.
I just read your post and the similarities you have to many of us are amazing! You are right if he did but even an 1/8 of the effort into your M it would be amazing! I suffer with that every day. Logic goes out the window most of the time with the WAS. Deep down they know wha they are doing is wrong, but like my W explained to me one day when we supposedly tried to recouncil the affair or the other person is like an addicition. It is so easy to dish out the advice and sound like such an expert at DB but I am far from it. The one ting that you and I have is that anger and disgust at times that comes through. At times it makes it easier to detatch, but you need to detatch and let the emmotion go for yourself. I have monents that I do detatch for myself and feel stronger, and it gets better. You will hav back slide like I did recently but when you look at everything logically you will slowly be able to recover and move on! I was in the same situation as you a few weeks back. I actually brought the suitcases out in the middle of the nite and told my W to choose between me and the OM and if it is the OM go move in with himif he is so great! At the time I felt empowered but regret it!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
