I don't think I explained myself very well last post. Knowing SO is in "hot pursuit" of this OW has an opposite effect on me and I wonder what others feel. Seeing how he is shamelessly doing these things - the flowers, the profile, the emails, etc - IT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO PURSUE HIM. As a matter of fact, it disgusts me and repulses me so much that I just want to push him away.
Does that make any sense to anyone? I find it disgusting that he would put so much energy into that R instead of "us". We've been together for 9 years, we have 3 little children, and some girl 10 years younger than him is the one he puts effort into? I don't get it. To me, if he put even 1/4 of the effort into "us" that he puts into that, our R would instantly turn around.
Am I wrong in this thinking? Why do I view this as a roadblock instead of jumping on it and seeing it as an opportunity? Why do I push away when maybe I should be trying to use it to get closer?
