Well, I didn't pack his things....although I had brought our luggage upstairs as I was going to start getting some things ready for my trip. He saw the suitcase and questioned it.
We ended up having an argument last night. He knows all the buttons to push to get me going. I STILL haven't learned how to stop falling into that trap. Something I need to work on a bit more diligently. The end result - pretty much nothing. No resolutions or solutions to anything.
I think right now it's best to retreat. Make myself invisible for a while. If he moves out, he moves out. It's his choice. I can't stop him, nor will I. He needs to see me in a different light anyway. Right now, I'm just a thorn in his side. Until the day comes that HE sees me differently, not too much is going to change.
In the meantime, I just have to work on me. Enjoy my kids, enjoy my vacation, slowly get myself together for ME....and the girls. I think it will come down to him leaving...I don't think we can get past this without him feeling like he's free, like he's in control of his own life and the choices he has to make. There's too many factors in the way with him living here. He views ME as a roadblock to greater happiness in his life. Until those thoughts change, there's only so much I can do. And I have to let him go with as much love and respect and grace and dignity that I can find inside of myself.
