OK guys...I feel like things are in such a downward spiral. I'm constantly going back & forth about continuing this or just saying screw it. Right now I'm all about giving up.
To recap and to explain my ambivalence today, supposedly SO has stopped seeing OW. However, he hasn't said boo about us, yet still keeps everything at home the way it's been. Yesterday, I was out for most of the day. When I got home, I saw there as a print out of apartment rentals that he had been looking at. Later on, after SO went to bed, I looked at the computer history and found that he had ordered a $100 bouquet of flowers and sent them to OW with some sappy lines about how he was sorry he hadn't been treating her right and he "only wants to be her man."
I was so upset, I slept on the couch. I actually tried to sleep in the bed with him, but the sound of him snoring, touching me under the covers all the while knowing he did this while I was out - just made me sick to my stomach and I had to get out of the bed. Plus, before he went to sleep, he was making his usual hints re: for us to ML. I pretended not to catch on and he had gone to sleep. I just don't get it. Sending flowers to one girl, trying to romp with another?
Now today, I see that also changed his screen name profile to say (under "marital status") - "Still trying to Convince Miss Right That I'm The One". This is word for word!
I'm so sick to my stomach. I have no idea what to do. I want to pack all his clothes and have them ready for him when he gets home. Now - he has no idea I know this stuff. So this morning when he was leaving for work, he woke me up and was all over me with "Why'd you sleep out here" and "What did I do this time?" and "how come you didn't sleep with me?". In my sleepy state I sarcastically said "You've done enough" and went into the bedroom. Later on he called to make sure I was up to get daughter to school. ???
I have no idea what to do. The strong part of me says "Get this toxic man out of your life!". the thought of seeing him later today, all the while knowing these things, has me sick. Just sick. It appears he's ready to go - the rentals, trying to get with OW. Yet, he's got no problem trying to keep me on the back burner.
I wish I knew what to do. Insist he leave? Pretend I know nothing? Point out the profile? It won't get me further to my goal, but why pretend? This is his work profile - anyone and everyone will see it. Will pushing him away before "HE" is ready - will that do more good or more harm?
I can't wait to be on vacation next week.
If anyone has any words of advice or suggestions, or anything, lol, I'm listening!
