I am definitely giving something away, hence my feelings of guilt afterward. Some have attributed that to a victim's mentality, but I think you may be more correct. I am too strong to be a victim. That's why I get upset that I'm not strong enough to handle these encounters in stride. Without escalation and without anger. Truth is, I don't know how. So many boundaries have been crossed, there isn't much left but to feel pathetic and angry.
I had similar feelings, altho I didn't feel like I was too strong to be a victim, I just didn't know how to correctly handle the sitch. I felt this way b/c I wanted to handle the sitch perfectly so that I could fix W's problem. What I learned from the book "I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better", really helped me to learn how to handle these feelings. Mainly to validate W's feelings, state my boundaries kindly, gently, respectfully and firmly and that I can't own or fix her problem for her.
