That I need to 'earn' my way out of this marriage.

Hi HeatherG.

Couple questions.

Why do you refuse H sex? Why do you resent his sexual need -- porn/MB-- when he has no other outlet?
Is or has your H had an A, or was it only you? Is this a tactic for dropping LU into his account?

Finally about the above comment.
You quoted a post from MWD to Paradox. You repeatedly say we need to work on this M or D. We are either DOING it or NOT.
From my chair, it seems to me that your H, is firmly committed to this M. (if he is not having an A, and allowed you to come back after yours,--I have only perused the three most recent of your threads)
I do not see that from you, and I know he does not come even close to feeling it from you. His guy code is at level Amber. (why isnt it orange?)


What I see is a power struggle that IMO you are going about the wrong way of deescalating.
Do you wnat to be 'right' and break him/force him to see, or do you want a good M?
His comments about your reading/researching/studing R dynamics as being 'comical' speak volumes to me.

So to be perfectly blunt.
You have gone back to your M, but by damn you are not giving up one shred of power, and not going to have one good feeling about H untill you see him fix the reasons why you were forced to have an A.



So whats the score in your M? Whos winning right now?

Is the way you treat him now, remotely close to how you treated him when you were first dating?

see ya round.