Quote: I wonder how effective any 'work' it feels like I've been doing can possibly be when I know my whole heart isn't in it.
That's the "Act As If" part. It's your commitment to do your best for your M that carries you through, as long as it lasts. It's not a warm, fuzzy feeling about the "true love" you enjoy with "your soulmate."
No one can do it perfectly. As long as you keep trying, keep focused on your goals and your own efforts, you can know someday that you did give it your all. Every time you broke out the duct tape, every time you stopped yourself from repeating some pattern that wouldn't work, every time you sought a compromise solution, whether H accepted it or not, whether it worked well when he did or not, you were "putting your heart in it."
This is difficult. All of us felt the difficulties of our own sitches, so we recognize that it's not easy for you, either. Vent away when you need to vent.
I hope your visit to Charm City turned out well.
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
