I haven't been able constructively comment on your sitch recently. I truly empathize with your frustration.
I've been reading the book "I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better", it's about validation. Here are three ideas from the book that I'd like to share with you:
If you start to formulate answers while the other person is talking, refocus your mind to listen completely.
Nothing good happens in the heat of the moment.
Boundaries are set by being kind, gentle, respectful & firm.
