Hey guys, what I suggested to Heather has nothing to do with anything more than the concept that, when left alone and no pressure is given, people may do the 'right thing' after all of their own accord. It's not about the kids getting cranky as a result that motivates H to step up to the plate, it's not about if H can come up with a better routine, it's just about creating an environment for something positive to happen.
As an illustration, when my daughter was small, one night I was talking to her mom in the kitchen and she kept interrupting us because her favorite TV show that she usually watched at that time wasn't on, and she kept wanting us to come into the den and do something with her. Well, we kept shooing her away so we could talk and every five minutes she'd come back in. So I turned to her finally and said, "What did you use to do before that show was on?" We can look at that as she now knew what was expected of her, just like Heather's H knows what's expected of him: a decent bedtime for S and getting him ready for bed.
About ten minutes later my daughter came back into the kitchen, all smiles, holding up a drawing she just drew.
IOW, she rose to the occasion. She didn't keep lamenting that the show wasn't on. She didn't keep interrupting us to come and play with her. We had left her alone with no interference, no specific direction, no assistance, no help, no being there for her in any way, shape or form - and she, of her own accord, did something constructive instead.
