That was when you first tried it, and it didn't work, but you know, you have to give it time and see if it takes effect (with anything you do), which you did, and it's still not working. Somewhere along the line I added a suggestion to drop everything instead and dump all responsibility into H's lap. maybe it's time to try something new, as when something turns out not to work, it's time to do something different.
Again, the idea behind dropping all responsibility is that H knows what the deal is, in this case, a reasonable bedtime for S, which also includes S wrapping up activities, winding down, preparing for bed. Without you "prodding", for lack of a better term, it leaves it all to H to accomplish, and taken out of the equation is any reason to do battle with you (because you're not going to mention that it's bedtime, you're not going to check and see if S is getting ready for bedtime, you're not going to say a peep about it nor make your presence known, nada, nothing, zilch). Then, freed from that focus against you, H may rise to the occasion, feeling that it's entirely his choice and that he's not being "forced" to do something he does not wish to do and rebel against it. This may take some time to take effect as well.
To go back to a previous question of mine: You wrote that H was cooperating, but that last night he did not. You had also written that you had a bad day. So, in my mind, knowing that H strikes passive-aggressively, I wondered if his power struggle with you last night was his P/A way of getting back at you for events that occurred between the two of you earlier in the day or evening.
I don't think it's realistic to expect H to make any significant improvements right now, as you've only just started counseling sessions, and so, any improvements would be down the road a bit, if they are to come at all. This is like a holding period for you, so maybe the best way for you to view this time is as temporary with a wait and see attitude.
I happened to watch a Dr. Phil episode the other day, not that I'm a big Dr. Phil fan at all, but I was channel surfing and came upon a show where he had a couple where the H was a major control freak and his W had been emotionally pummeled to the point of being a victim, yet she knew she wasn't happy. I believe it was the H who originally contacted the show for help, his interest being "Please help my wife be a better wife". Dr. Phil had a couple of sessions with them prior to their appearance on the show, and it was in those sessions where the H had the aha! moments where he began to see how the problem was really about how H was instrumental in making things worse, and how his expectations and frustration were influencing him to act as he did. Sometimes, a third impartial party can help, so, let's see if further C sessions benefit the two of you.
