Learning to Trust Myself VI

[heatherg]

Hey Jabez, thanks for checking in! Utah was awesome...the moutains were spectacular and being there for my sister was even better. We had a great time, I met her friends that I hear about so often. We had a blast.

While I was gone, I called home everday to talk to the kids obviously, but I also updated H on what we were doing even though he didn't respond or say anything. He never called me, never said one word more than he had to when I called him. He never asked how I got to the airport, how I was getting home from the airport or what time my flight was coming in.

Yesterday was our first MC session. Sunday night I told him the session was at noon and he started to respond by rolling his eyes, but I didn't stick around. I walked away without saying anything and went to bed. I thought to myself, if he comes he comes if he doesn't he doesn't. As I was sitting in the waiting room I knew if he didn't show there was nothing else to help us and all would likely be lost. The message he would have sent by not coming was loud enough that I would not have been able to ignore. But, alas, he showed. We had an interesting session, I was surprised at how much talking H did. Gladly surprised. She wants us to come every week and I think that is best. However, H has his tonsils out this Fri and will be down for a week. Our next appt is Mon, Feb 27. And that will be good only if H doesn't have to go out of town that Monday. We'll see.

I don't know if counseling can help us. I know it won't if we can't go regularly. I feel like the gap is just becoming too big, the changes he'd have to make are too great. And he doesn't see any change in me worth anything, so I don't know what more I can do for him. I will probably journal a little about our counseling session later, I need to try to create a record of what we talked about, etc. so I will be able to monitor progress or lack thereof.

Thanks for thinking of me!