W31, OM20

[RBinBR]

All right. I'm about to try a risky experiment. I'm going to make a deal with W and OM. If they will agree not to communicate for 5 weeks, then I will give my W a divorce at the end if she wants that.

My Louisiana covenant marriage has a requirement that 2 years of separation are required before a divorce can be granted (except in cases of adultery where the loyal spouse wants to file). This has been my trump card -- the fact that my W can't divorce me for another 21 months now.

My W doesn't want a divorce now, anyway -- she's trying to do the right thing and repair her R with me. The purpose of this is mainly to get OM to stop calling her and texting her for a while so that she can have the chance to love me again, and also to make it easier for W -- instead of my demanding that she never speak to him again, she only has to pledge not to talk to him for 5 weeks. That will give us time to relax and work on our R. We will go to a marriage conference, go to weekly counseling, spend a lot of time together, and finish with the Disney trip I had already planned.

The book that suggested this plan, Torn Asunder, actually calls for a 90-day experiment -- not a 35-day experiment. However, because my W and I have such a good friendship right now, and because my W wants to love me and be happy with me, I think it will take a lot less. Normally, the time to break any addiction is about a month to get through withdrawal, and my understanding is that affairs are typically the same way. We'll see. I still have to talk to the OM to get his agreement, but he told W he is willing to do it.