W31, OM20

[RBinBR]

RB, that IS a pressure filled note, wouldn't you think? Maybe the card wasn't, but the note was. I think they call it "passive pursuit" here on the board.

Maybe a little ... but it was really more reassuring. She's let me know that she's afraid that I'm going to divorce her and marry someone else (yeah, I know), and it was in there to let her know that I'm still there for her.

Maybe I should just let her worry, but I really think that she's got enough pressure right now without being afraid of losing me. If I don't get some results in the next month and a half, then I'll let her worry. She's having such fights with OM, though, that I'm guessing that they won't last long and it will be better for me to be supportive of her.

Anyway, I promise that the Disney trip was purely motivated by a desire to have a special time with my daughter. She deserves it so much, and I really haven't been there for her emotionally the last 3 months (the last 5 months, really). I had been putting the trip off because I was waiting on W, and I just decided that I wasn't going to leave my life on hold anymore.

I've really been extremely excited the last two days about going. It's the best GAL thing that I've done, bar none.

The fact that my W will want to go and will feel horribly left out is purely a side benefit. Back in January, she had even asked me at one point if the three of us could maybe still go on a trip to Disney together after we got divorced!

My suggestion is that you book the trip, according to your schedule, then tell W the dates. Not in an "asking" way; rather in a way that shows you're going with her or without her, and for D's enjoyment. Not based on whether W is still involved in A or not.

That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm not inviting W at all. If she asks to come, I'm going to tell her that it would be cruel to D to make her think that we're getting back together and that isn't happening at this point.

BTW, thanks for writing, NM. I don't know if my thread gets so little attention because people think I'm an insufferable know-it-all, or if they (incorrectly) think that I've got everything together and don't need any help.