W31, OM20

[RBinBR]

OK, that was really great. W came by this morning to bring some of D's medicine that she had left over at her place last week. We went out for breakfast, then she snuggled with me on the couch and took a nap in my arms. Later, a little petting and touching. She had been really stressed this morning from work and also got a traffic ticket, and it's clear that letting me hold her relaxes her.

I wanted to make a bit of a play, so I said playfully "Run away with me this weekend. Let's just get in the car and go somewhere." She asked me where, and I suggested several places or just anywhere, and she laughed and said "it's not time for that yet."

So, I did a little pursuing and a R check (which I know is not DB), but I did it in a non-pressuring, non-serious way that I don't really think hurt anything. Besides, one of the things that supposedly attracted her to the OM is that he is so spontaneous. I love vacations so much that I want to maximize my enjoyment of them, so I typically plan any vacation to the extreme. Saying things like "let's just get in the car and go somewhere" is a kind of 180, which is why she laughed.

Anyway, "it's not time for that yet" is definitely something I'll take gladly at this point. There's no question that it beats "Sorry, I'm dedicated to my R with OM now" (which is the kind of thing I heard a month ago) or even "I don't know which way I'm going to go" (which I heard as recently as a week ago).

I suggested that she, D, and I eat a picnic lunch by a lake tomorrow, and she eagerly accepted. I'm going to get us some hot boiled crawfish (btw, if you're not from Louisiana, you need to go to a crawfish boil sometime in your life), and she was excited about that, because they've been very expensive this year -- the hurricanes messed up the crop.

It's really a fine line that I'm trying to walk, trying to be romantic while not pursuing in a way that's going to push her away. I know that she wants a little pursuing right now.

I especially need to tell myself not to be too sexually aggressive in these times that I get opportunities to hold her and love her. The thing is, it's clear that she really wants to kiss me and ML, and I feel that doing so would cause a dam of emotion to break and end the A (she may know that and be resisting for that reason). That makes me want to try to get her to do it. At the same time, though, she is resisting (I assume out of a warped loyality to OM), and pressuring her is very bad, so I must stop it.