The thing to keep in mind, LPD, is that all OP's have a clear character flaw. The fact that a spouse and OP cheated to be together means that neither of them will really be able to trust each other. Jesus contrasted the man who build his house upon a rock to one who built his house on sand. Any A is built on sand and that's why they almost never last.

Your W will see the OM's flaws in time -- the question we can't know is how long it will take. Right now, the A is still new and exciting to her. If my W's OM was not such a 20-year-old bum/child, my W might be in the same position as yours, and the A would almost certainly last a lot longer than otherwise.

For me, going dark was the best thing because it gave me the opportunity to detach and heal. Not having to worry about what I was going to say to her the next day, etc. just took a load off my back, and yes, this is the perfect time to GAL. Do it for yourself, not for your W. Don't worry about her finding out or not.

Thanks for the encouragement, LPD. Some days, like yesterday, are really hard; some days, like today, are just fine.

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)