Thanks so much for your insight SF. I guess I didn't think about him letting go of the OW an being depressed. I know we have so much work to do,but right now he just wants to give up. I know the changes I need to make and I know I need to go to C. for myself if nothing else. I know I'm a stronger person then I was when he left because he always controlled everything. I have had to do things on my own and granted they were not perfect but I was able to take care of them. Maybe he dosen't like the more Independant person I have become. I know that I have read over and over again not to snoop but I did anyway . I found his call records for his cell phone and saw he had called OW the weekend before he moved back home at 1:00 am for 3 mn. and of course I thought that was long enough to ask her to come over. But I know I want my marrage to work and be better then It was before. I do have DB book and thanks for the recomadation for the other book. I'm not very good at expressing myself with words. I have great thoughts in my head just not good at writing them down
