My husband of 7 years cheated on me while I barely survived childbirth. The day I find out is....well, I never got the oppotunity to find out...He told me point blank the day before my 30th birthday and he wanted out(so that he neednot spend money on birthday gift ).
I however, got talked into a "friendly" trial seperation for the sake of the baby. (and for the last hope of my heart that his bad behavor was because of the other woman and he can change back).
In my hope that "if you love someone release him and he will flyu back to you" mind set, you can understand the crap I was willing to take.
Now? Well, now he refuses to pay whatever little amount he promised, and he wants my baby.
A woman cheated is not defeated.
That I have been nice and agreeble is no reason for him to abuse my goodwill.
Do anyone know where I can get some legal advice in chicago area?
My ex took custody of my 3 older children and tried to take my baby too but he couldn't get her. Please do the following to help keep your child with you:
1. Get a good lawyer ASAP and get a residence order which states baby lives with you, and offer a visitation plan for XH. Then you look reasonable to the courts and they are less likely to grant him custody if you have already been granted residence papers.
2. Breast feed your baby as much as possible. As well as being best for baby, they are less likely to give him custody if baby is physically dependent on you.
3. Keep your house spotless at all times, because you never know when the authorities will visit.
4. Develop good relationship with doctor/health visitor etc and take baby to see them when requested. Then you have paper evidence of being a 'good mother'. Always ask to see doctor's notes etc and if there is anything you don't agree with, have it removed from record. You can do that.
NEVER cry in front of a professional, or talk about your personal life with them. I did this and it was my downfall.
5. Never bar ex's access, and if you can't do a particular time, offer an alternative.
6. Don't engage in telephone convo's with him, or face-to-face convos, as he could make allegations. Stick to email only and keep it brief, purely about contact.
I learnt all this too late for my older daughters, but I kept by baby by doing these steps and she will be 4 this July.
E-mail GreekGoddess at the the address she gives. I sent her my Lawyer's web site address. My lawyer is in the western suburbs of Chicago. (and smarter that my XW's)
