I can't quit crying today. I think it's been about a week or so since I felt this way....Sometimes I get so pumped up to try DB but then I feel so lonely without my H. Since he is with OW I feel like I get the scraps of him...when he needs a break from her. Will this work? I feel horrible about myself & at times I can't even think to see him. I guess that is the anger. I guess what is different now is that I'm not picking up the phone in a crying rage telling him what I think. I know I hear over and over again on these boards how patience is key it is just sooo hard.
Apart of me wants to take the time I can get from him and make them very pleasant and memorable and then take it from there. But it is when I sit back and reflect that I feel so stupid and low. That our spouses are using us and we are doormats. Maybe these are just feelings and that isn't whats going on I just feel so crappy right now and I'm so tired and it's only been 4 weeks.
I admire all of you who are sticking through your resolve. It takes alot of energy.
