Hi ame, Just wanted to mention that I too am in your boat. And I agree with your thoughts on the subject, that it "keeps him from making a decision". I keep deciding NOT to ML to my H but end up giving in because, well, you know why! But in my heart, yes, I do feel that you should NOT sleep with him, (nor should I with my H) because my gut tells me that in this situation, the Hs will likely begin to see what they will be missing. Any man who is with an OW but still cannot get enough of ML to the wife they left, cannot possibly be all THAT serious about that OW. I think the OW serve a bandaid purpose. In my case, so far my H cannot seem to go more than like 10 days or so without pursuing me, and last friday I rejected him a bit (not even totally, just rejected the time he proposed for our "hanging out" , telling him that if he wanted to be with me it would have to be on MY terms, and the next day he changed his tune completely, broke up with OW and came to my house for the night and the next day. OFCOURSE at that point I wore my heart on my sleeve and scared him back to her, totally backsliding and launching into R talks and talking about OW, even tried to make him jealous when I felt him slipping away. So we have now jumped back several steps, but the point i am trying to share with you is that I have only rejected him ONCE, and the tables turned immediately. Not two hours later he was text messaging me "do you hate me? I am confused. Do you think I am f*cked up? Am I bothering you?" and stuff like that. If done without any R talk or guilt inducing comments, I think cutting them off could be very powerful. Just my two cents. Oh, and as for recovering from the "mistakes" we make b/c we are so emotional, yes, it happens all of the time, even when it feels like the damage is irreparable. It truly is a rollercoaster. Only not so fun!! Hang in there, you are not alone. These boards are a great place to come, glad you found them!! I am pretty new here too but welcome anyway!!
