Have you thought about honesty in a discussion where you know you will not have an opportunity to ML? Tell him that your feelings are mixed up and until you figure them out...you would prefer that you "just hand out"...leave the sex out!
It may not be what he wants to hear, but if he truly RESPECTS you and RESPECT is HUGE, then he will not get angry. If he gets upset or angry, then he may just be trying to fill a period where the OW isn't being as reciprical to him. You have become the OW as he is living with her now...!
Your H sounds TOTALLY confused and by ML to him, he has the best of both worlds.
From a Male POV, being pursued by a female to WANT to ML is a huge gratification for men. I could probably speak for most men! When my W initiated it with me, it made me feel so secure, so loved and so attractive, I felt great inside to be pursued.
From my 30,000 foot overview, it looks like he is buring the candle at both ends. If he is not getting from OW, is he turning to you as a backup? I don't mean or make this sound horrible, but what are his motives? Why, if he is back being intimate with you? Why would he even consider staying with OW...and what is she now feeling???
Be honest with him. Tell him that you enjoy ML with him, but until YOU can come to a definitive answer on things, and he is living with the OW, you will "just hang out" with him, end of sentence!!
Save yourself first! If you are confident in that you don't NEED him at this point...his pursuit of you may increase and the OW will be a non-factor!
Just my Opinion though! JRY
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.”
"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." Confucius (551-479 BC) - Chinese philosopher
