Ame- Think of this like a rollercoaster...there will be ups and downs, and it doesn't seem as if any one of those lasts for too long. So, although you feel like you "failed", think about it as learning from the experience. This isn't a perfect science...sometimes you have to go through a bunch of different ways to handle a particular situation before you find the right one.
You can't control your H or what he does. And that was one of the hardest things for me...feeling like i had no control. And what made me feel like i had some control back was limiting the contacting i did of my H. Believe it or not, that small step helped me gain some control back. I can honestly say that 9 out of 10 contacts that i have with my H, he has initiated. And that makes me feel a bit better, that he is the one reaching out to me, not the other way around.
The other thing i will add is that, as hard as it is, you have to try to stop asking about the future of your R. Think about it this way: if there was something that you didn't want to talk about, b/c it made you uncomfortable or whatever, and your H insisted on talking about it whenever he saw you, would you want to spend time with him? Probably not. I think it is human nature to avoid discomfort at all costs. I think you will find that your interactions with your H will be more pleasant when he doesn't feel pressured.
And yes, people do recover from this. Remember...it is sometimes 1 step forward, 2 steps back.
