GH, we've actually started an office pool here concerning your ability to know what W's really doing, and I've got 5 bucks on "She's going back to the store to pick up something for you she saw the other day, it may be just a card, or it may be a little gift, and she's throwing you off from suspecting this surprise by telling you she doesn't want to exchange presents".
Okay, so I may be the worst person in the world to offer this advice given my track record, but here's the main question: How is knowing one way or the other going to help you? Specifically, if you knew for certain that tonight was going to be OM time, what would you do? Force an ultimatum? Rant and rave for few hours?
I know how you feel, believe me! I've been here so many times that it kills me, but something I have learned is that no matter what I'm thinking...I can't change any of it.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Quote: GH, we've actually started an office pool here concerning your ability to know what W's really doing, and I've got 5 bucks on "She's going back to the store to pick up something for you she saw the other day, it may be just a card, or it may be a little gift, and she's throwing you off from suspecting this surprise by telling you she doesn't want to exchange presents".
Can I get in on that action NYS??
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
I know it's hard and I really feel for you, but let her be. Don't ask her questions about where she is going. You're doing so well on so many other things. It sucks that she's going back to behavior that pushes your buttons, but pull a 180 on her and just let it go.
Remember not to assume anything. Also, if she has tried breaking it off with the OM, it is possible that he's putting up a fight and not making it easy for her to end things.
Hey, and if she really doesn't want to do presents that lets you off the hook. As you're a photographer maybe you can take a nice photo of your kids and give that to her.
Nice. F both of you, and I mean that in the best of possible ways. BTW, is it cheating for me to get in on this?
So, fine, but this "it's not about him" stuff only goes so far. Eventually, when there is a clearer path for my W and I to reconciliation, then it WILL be about the OM because he will be the main obstacle preventing us from working on us. Ok so I ignore it. She goes out to "the mall" to do whatever and all the while, scrapping plans for us. Oh, and as for the surprise thing, my W doesn't do that. She threw a surprise thing of sorts, invited another couple to dinner with us on my b-day and I hated it so she probably won't do that again. No, if, and get that pool going, IF I know my W these days, she is going to be with him tonight. I will never know of course because I will not ask, nor snoop but the timing is too good for anything else. Will she have something for me tomorrow? Maybe, but she got it in the 7 hours she spent shopping today, not the 2 or 3 she will tonight. I am bitter right now. Can you tell. I will get a handle on it. I always do...
How is knowing one way or the other going to help you? Specifically, if you knew for certain that tonight was going to be OM time, what would you do? Force an ultimatum? Rant and rave for few hours?
You brought up a very good point Rob!! And while ya'll sit here place bets and try and finger out what GHs W is really doing...I'm outta here...it's my day off, the sun is shining, I've got things to do, people to see...yada yada...so ya'll have fun!!
So, fine, but this "it's not about him" stuff only goes so far. Eventually, when there is a clearer path for my W and I to reconciliation, then it WILL be about the OM because he will be the main obstacle preventing us from working on us.
Will you please stop being a frickin' clairvoyant? It could very well be that in the day if and when you're getting to reconciliation, OM won't be a factor but a long gone variable.
She goes out to "the mall" to do whatever and all the while, scrapping plans for us.
Oh, and as for the surprise thing, my W doesn't do that. She threw a surprise thing of sorts, invited another couple to dinner with us on my b-day and I hated it so she probably won't do that again.
Will she have something for me tomorrow? Maybe, but she got it in the 7 hours she spent shopping today, not the 2 or 3 she will tonight.
You're jumping to your own conclusions in each of those statements.
Now I'm completely jealous, its cold and dreary here :-(
Actually, as much as I'd love to take credit for that piece of advice, the credit should go to GH who told me the same exact thing about a week ago.
And I'm taking action on the food court job.......
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
I think I really needed to see all that in print to realize how ridiculous I am being. Thank you NYS. You are right, and so are you Rob & Lisa. I was never really on the ledge this time but you are God-sends.
I know nothing and I will be happy with that. Did someone around here mention that this sucks?
BTW, is it cheating for me to get in on this?