Okay...now we have something we can work with. So let's roll up our sleeves and get to work here.
I know W does not work during the day and you are a photographer. I happen to know one also and I know there is not a set work schedule. So let's think about this...the kids are in school during the day. W goes to the gym generally for a few hours a day. Do you think you would feel comfortable asking her for a day date for Vday. Invite her to a Vlunch (easier to get reservations btw) and then shopping for the coat afterwards. This way it's the two of you and no kids, got it...a little time for just the two of you which you haven't had in quite some time. Find a nice italian restaurant somewhere (Italian food is a bit more romantic dining than say steak or Mexican).
If she doesn't feel comfortable with this, then accept it and go for the option of the kids joining too for dinner. Remember you are testing the waters here. K?
I think when it comes to women it boils down to those that are materialistic and those that are not. Going out on a limb and say that W is in the later group with me. We're quite easy to please, not too hard to figure out in the slightest. While life does change us a bit through the years, we still do have our passions, interests and desires. Your W may have gotten a bit lost in the way, but I am sure there are still somethings that you can recall about her. I'll share some stuff about me, I have a weakness/passion for a few things, polarfleece, horses, penguins, and California. It's a safe bet that someone wanted to get to my heart they would indulge me with something from my short list. So my friend, write a list about what your Ws passions are, what you think they are?
Regarding bringing up the om, let it go...let it go!! Have you forgotten the whole it's not about the op, it's about me and my WAS? Come on now...just let it go!!
Okay, story time...my greatest hurrah was my goodbye gift to my exH. For his 40th bday, I planned a trip for us to go to Cali. What he didn't know was what I had planned for him once we got to LA. When we were in LA back in the 80s, he was in a band, a vocalist. We hung with the Alist bands back then. The band broke up over a record deal that went really really sour. Anyone who's ever been in a band can tell you that a band break up is like going through a D. So for 10yrs these guys didn't talk to one another. For years they had lived and breathed one another. I knew my exH lived with a great deal of pain over it, never recovered. Anyway, for months, and I mean months, I ass kissed every band member, all of our old friends. I worked my ass off trying to make ammends between everyone. So we went and when we got to LA on our second day there I suggested going to our old lunch hangout down by where we had lived. We sat outside on the patio and one by one, our friends, old band members suddently started showing up. If I could only share with you the expression on his face, the tears in his eyes as well as everyone else's. I sat back for a week and let him revel in his glory. I was in great pain personally at this time as I had just lost my horse, but kept it inside because of how important I knew this meant to him. It's just an example of showing your love, taking the time and learning what really matters to people. I had helped him heal old wounds. And to this day, he's never forgotten his 40th bday. They are all still in touch.
