Lisa. So much to think about. I will try to answer what you brought up.
No my friend, you are wrong it's not a little of the same thinking GH, it's ALOT of the same thinking
Ok. I can accept that.
Why? Because it's a gift from you? Because you would be spending more money on a coat vs what she would spend? Because you know her tastes, wants, desires better than she does? Is it a contest or power struggle? She needs ONE coat GH, not two coats. Certainly not one that will sit around collecting dust, now that would be a waste of money, wouldn't it?
No, not because it's from me, because I do know her tastes. Really, it's because now I have a holiday to shop for in an afternoon and little time at that and need something to get her. It's too late to get a sitter, especially since I don't know one so I am left buying something. I totally hear you and understand that I really have very little idea of what my W desires or needs. I don't know if I ever have. So now what? One thing I do know is if she is considering this to be a "normal' V-day, then it's pretty much on the level of a birthday in terms of gifts and I have nothing. I think she may understand but...
So, hows about this: I get a Macy's Credit card (which we would pay off immediately this week) and a card inviting her to dinner and shopping for a coat afterward. The kids will have to come but that's ok. I will also get her a little something... Does that sound better?
And back to your backslide last night...think about this, why did you need to do the dig that you did to her? Why couldn't you just let good enough alone? Did you have to have the last say, control? Were you trying to start something? Was it that you just couldn't perhaps accept being the hero to her for coming through like a knight?
I think I was actually upset because this wonderful new thing I just "bought" her would be the primary instrument she would use to contact the OM and I felt a childish need to let her know I knew that. It was stupid and I regret it. It is one of the worst of my bad behaviors and I really hate that I reverted back to it. I also think there is some part of me that sabotages things. I was NOT trying to start something. Maybe I am just getting really frustrated with the cat and mouse game of wondering what's going on with her and the OM. Since I am resigned to not asking, I let some pent up sarcasm slip. Gotta do better because if there is anything she hates more than my sarcasm, I don't know what it is.
Thank you again. Please, share any more stories you want. My thread's all yours!
