So close, so close...and yet so faraway. I'm just gonna be brutally honest here...take it or leave it...my hands are thrown up in the air!!
I know that is a little bit of the same thinking...
No my friend, you are wrong it's not a little of the same thinking GH, it's ALOT of the same thinking.
but the one I will get her will be much nicer than what she would buy for herself.
Why? Because it's a gift from you? Because you would be spending more money on a coat vs what she would spend? Because you know her tastes, wants, desires better than she does? Is it a contest or power struggle? She needs ONE coat GH, not two coats. Certainly not one that will sit around collecting dust, now that would be a waste of money, wouldn't it?
I'm going to start sharing my stories with you...for no other reason than sometimes you get it and even if you don't get it, well hey then I can work through my WAW issues. K? Therapy for us both.
Here is something interesting I would like to share with you. I have these two friends, married a couple of years, been together 6yrs. They were at the company holiday party and all the married couples played the Newleywed Game. You would think that this would be an easy game for married couples to play. We all think we KNOW our Ss, right...well let's just say my GF was floored that she and her H were the ONLY ones out of all the married couples that got the right answers...some of these folks had been married over 20yrs mind you...the final question was where did you have your first kiss...the H answered it perfectly and to the T. He knew the restaurant pkg lot where it had happened. Everyone was floored! Why because these two friends of mine met at the company, they were coworkers, who had an A, and got married. They knew everything about each other in/out and they still do. Yet amazingly enough the couples that had been married for years barely knew their Ss. Tells you something eh?
What do you really know about your W and her needs, desires...it's not just you, GH, I see it over and over again on the board from many of the male posters here. They think they know, they think they have the answers of what they want, but do they really? You indicated on several occasions in our posts back and forth that your W has mentioned not wanting to go out because of getting a babysitter...have you ever thought of perhaps throwing all caution to the wind, saving up and getting a babysitter and surprising her with dinner and a night on the town like you used to? Remember when you romanced/courted her before you got M and life got in the way. She may very well be accepting of life's circumstances but her being in an A means that her emotional needs are no longer being filled by you....someone else is doing that, taking her back to the place where you once were with her. Make sense?
I've got stories galore of things I could share with you...all things I did/said before I gave up and walked away from my exH. He's the first one now to admit that he screwed up. All the jewelry he bought and then SWEAR TO GOD he would quickly take me over to his parents house to parade me around in front of his family, "look how well we are doing." He never got me, I'm not that hard to figure out and I doubt that your W is either. I DID learn something by taking that test yesterday and reflecting on my answers...it's not that I don't like gifts, but it's because of the meaning that I learned BEHIND the gift giving...so now I am totally self-sufficient, if I want something, I just go buy it. It's a lot easier than hinting, asking, or hoping that someone will "get it".
And back to your backslide last night...think about this, why did you need to do the dig that you did to her? Why couldn't you just let good enough alone? Did you have to have the last say, control? Were you trying to start something? Was it that you just couldn't perhaps accept being the hero to her for coming through like a knight?
