As for the sex thing, it has never really been all that natural for us. It has been good (I think) for both of us but getting started has been an issue.
She doesn't believe in a woman being aggressive when it comes to initiation so she hardly ever did it. I somehow developed some esteem issues along the way and found it hard to initiate so I would resort to the "test run" method of seeing if she was in the mood (i.e. try touching somewhere during back rub, etc) and that was how it usually worked.
I used to do more romantic things, but after being shut down more than a few times, I guess I got tired of the rejection and stopped.
I totally understand how it is probably looked at by her as mechanical but that is NOT what I would like at all. I think now, if we ever got back to that stage, I would be better because I am learning not to take her moods personally and would not feel rejected if I did something romantic and it did not lead to ML.
Well, more than that, I would not EXPECT anything anymore and that is HUGE for me.
I would do most anything just to kiss my W and have it lead to nowhere right now, something I don't think she believes about me. In due time I hope to change that impression.
Anyway, sorry for the personal stuff but I am just starting to feel comfortable exploring the issues in the bedroom now that my heart is a little better.
Short Update:
W is at the gym and I had to call her about a kid issue. She used that laughing "I can't talk" voice she ALWAYS uses when she is with someone. She almost never uses that voice with me, but has started much more lately. Anyway, as usual, it looks like going to the gym=OM. I do know she actually is at the gym and I suppose that is better than the alternatives.
Of all the things I suspect I may be wrong about, this is not one. No worries...I can't change that stuff, that's up to her. I sure as hell would like to ask her WTH is going on though.
