Frickin' games! Damned if you do, damned if you don't! V-Day is a no win situation this year, that's for sure!
I think it really depends on where you are in your sitch. If you have a WAS, they are living on their own or with the op then I would forgo the Vday. Because that would be a form of pursuit and we KNOW as DBers that any form of pursuit only pushes the WAS further away from us. But I think that if your S still lives with you, you are in counseling of some sort or you see something positive from your WAS then I see nothing wrong with actually asking. Something I am learning is to take the temperature every now and then from the other people in our lives. It's hard to read people sometimes and it is very possible the WAS is in limbo just like you. Either way you get a feel for what they are thinking. Its part of communication.
