GH - Okay, going out on a limb here my friend, but have you considered asking her if she would like to go out for dinner? What has been your history for VDay.
After reading your thread the past couple of weeks, I did some reflection into me and I did take NYS little test. My exH never was big on Vday and after so many years of experience with that, I think personally I've grown to just believe it's another day. I carried that over with Dave and our R. Hmmm...is that what I am really about, couldn't tell you. I'm thinking about that. I know my exH was not the best at "getting it" the big joke here was for a couple of years, all I had wanted was a Kitchen Aid mixer. I know okay, not exactly diamonds, flowers, but it was something I coveted. Instead, exH appeared to go out of his way to get me everything else under the sun appliance way, except for the one thing that I wanted, the KA. I had mentioned it on several occassions and then I finally just gave up...and guess what the guy I was having the EA with got me for my bday....you guessed it, the KA!! Apparently, he heard me and I didn't even know it. And you know what 6yrs later it is still highly coveted, the most used kitchen appliance in my house and brings a smile to my face everytime I use it.
As for a sex life. With exH, it was for lack of a better term, mechanical. LOL. He was not a touchy/feely person. He got that from his family. I am on the other hand quite the opposite. With Dave, we had the touchy/feely and it was always there, even during things like cooking dinner, playing darts, the man could look at me with his eyes, and I could feel/read his love for me. To this day, I still remember his words he once said "There is more to intimacy than just sex you know." He was right. In comparison to exH, we had quite the fulfilling sex life. I think for this very reason. I never felt it was an obligation.
Women tend to expect men to be mind readers and when they don't read our minds, we only end up disappointing ourselves and letting our S down when they have failed. It's something that both sexes need to work on. It goes back to opening up the door of communication between the couple and being accepting and validiating what each other says.
I think with the trip coming up and also because of the fact that she isn't keeping date night, what harm could you do in asking her if she would like to do something. She may be waiting for you to say something, afraid of trying to read into what is going around in your head also.
Anyway, perhaps interesting if we post our scores...here are mine.
Score Love Language 7 Words of Affirmation 9 Quality Time 1 Receiving of Gifts 4 Acts of Service 9 Physical Touch
Apparently gift giving is just not something that is important on my list. But I am a touchy/feely person...imagine that!!
