I don't know if this is a revelation for me or just a manifestation of what's going on, but I am really struggling with the fact that my W just doesn't seem to notice me. I mean we live together, but it seems I don't exist to her. When I think back, I can't remember when I did. To explain more, she doesn't look at me. She doesn't touch me. She doesn't regard me. I am just here. Our communication is minimum. I guess I am saying that I don't feel any vibe from her. I don't feel like she expresses love for me. Ultimately, and this is really scary for me to say, I am realizing that I have never really been made to feel loved by my W. I am wondering how much in denial I am about my own happiness in my M. I see her walking through the house and I look at her with a lover's eye. She doesn't even notice me. Again, don't know when she ever did. I am rambling on but it's what's going through my head right now. I suppose it all started on the night of the bombs when she asked me "don't you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them?" Immediately I thought about all these things, and yes, I do deserve that. I wonder if I will ever get it from my W?
