Ok, so here's how the untrained, uncontrolled mind works.
My W has an appointment to see a L about her DUI today at 1:00. She supposedly met her girlfriends for breakfast. She said she would call after that...no call. She told me this morning (after asking me to stay and help with the kids as she felt like a panic attack was coming on) that she would call on her way to the L...no call again. I called her at around 12:40 and she answered but was really short. Said she was on her way and she needed to concentrate. She said she would call immediately after the appointment. Ok, fine. Now it's 2:15. Her appointment was supposed to take about 15-20 minutes. She was going to call immediately after to let me know what they said...no call. So, is she just not calling, or is it because she took the OM with her downtown for morale support and is dropping him off before she calls? Is that why she didn't talk to me from the car when normally she is fine to do that? Far fetched? Not to my paranoid mind it's not.
I am ok though. I recognize my old behavior rearing it's ugly head, but the thoughts are there. They stir up strong emotions, and they may be DEAD wrong. I post this to let you guys know that we all have these thoughts. It's what you do because of them that matters I guess.
So, what did I do? I called her and left a simple message to call me when she gets done with the L. I told her the truth, I was anxious to hear what he had to say. I will not call again.
Does this still affect me? Sure as hell does, but I can't let it control my life anymore.
