Last night at around midnight, my W was booked for DUI... I think this will impact us. It will severely damage our lives in ways I don't think we understand right now. None of this was ever supposed to happen.
Ouch. Sorry to hear that. Then again, glad to hear the cops are doing their job and making the roads safer, you know? They may have prevented some people from getting killed last night. And maybe this won't severely damage your lives but instead serve to be the silver lining in that this will be the lesson for her that stops her from ever DUI again, and maybe even stops her in her tracks to reflect on what she's doing with her life. Hope it works out.
my fear is that someday we will find ourselves holding the flame for a M that has been dead at our W's hands for months/years before we extinguish it.
Why are we fearful about things that haven't happened nor have to happen?
at least give up the OM and give it a try...
I think the key to understanding why we can't think this way is understanding the fundamental truth that our WAW do not want to work on the R and they do not want to give up their OM.
That's true. Further, LBSs would like their WASs to give up their OPs yesterday, if not sooner. This negates the understanding that whatever led the WAS to seek out an OP didn't happen overnight, and the reversal of events doesn't happen overnight either.
I think the best way for a WAS to give up an OP is for the WAS to experience the OP in all it's glory, and mayhap if the warts get pronounced, the LBS feeds positivity, the WAS may come to realize, of their own accord, that the OP means nothing.
