Quote: I think yours and my fear is that someday we will find ourselves holding the flame for a M that has been dead at our W's hands for months/years before we extinguish it.
Yes, don't I know it. That is probably the greatest fear for me. It really is maddening at times to think that no matter what you do, in the end, it may not make a bit of difference in your R...but at least we will be wiser and stronger.
FD, in many ways, yes, we are fortunate that our respective W's still live with us, but sometimes its too much temptation to start R talk. Also, a part of me still believes that something has to give before my W will see what it is that she really wants/needs. I know GH has expressed this sort of concern in the past, and I share it....in many ways I feel like I'm enabling her to continue with this romantic "vision" of OM...she only sees him in a positive way and doesn't have to deal with the normal hum-drums of life when she's around him. Here its the same old song and dance, deal with the kids, finances, etc. Sure, I think she recognizes that life with OM wouldn't be rosy, but when you don't have to actually endure it....its one thing.
Sorry, I'm not being negative, I'm really not, I'm just trying to flesh out some of these issues....Sorry GH if I hijacked.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
