Seems like the message is the same from both of you. It just sucks so much, as it says somewhere early on in the DB book, to be the one doing all the work and I'm NOT THE ONE HAVING AN AFFAIR. So I have to do all the right things to ATTRACT HER BACK!!@$@#! I KNOW I did a lot to spoil this thing but so did she. I guess I am just at the anger stage of grief right now. I see my W seemingly SO happy, and I actually trust it now that I saw what her faking it all these years. I can't help that sinking feeling that I actually have become that roommate she claims she's had for over a year. Look, you might do better to ignore me right now. This is really just the latest thing my brain is coming up with to self-sabatoge. I will NOT give in to it.
All in all, this has been my BEST DB weekend. My W just called after a night "not" watching the Super Bowl with the OM. If you recall, that was one of my biggest fears, and it came true. Know what? I had a GREAT time with my boys. I let the S5 stay up for the whole game (bedtime is usually 8:00) and it was a memory we will cherish. When she was leaving we barely noticed. We were having a dance contest. Things are getting better but like I have been saying the past couple days, better sometimes feels worse in this sitch. Thank you for the words in the face of my negativity. I am reading a couple books right now (Reinventing Yourself & Little Book of Letting Go) that should help me get a handle on my issues. I will update tomorrow.
