Back from b-day party #2. W, kids and I went to my nieces' birthday party today. It went well. I did my best "as if" job ever just being laid back and everything went great. W and I laughed and really, it was a normal (well, what USED to qualify as normal) day. Of course, in our world, nothing is ever really that easy. Here's my problem. I have figured out that this daily limbo, "normal-ness" is driving me crazy. Really, communication between my W and I has never been better. My anger is all but gone. I am hardly ever frustrated any more. I really let things, especially the small ones, slide. So here we are, a month out from the most traumatic conversation of my life and things seem great. One small problem. They're not. I am so confused because even in our hey-day I don't think my W and I ever got along this well. So of course in my mind, I think things are turning the corner but still there is no physical contact what-so-ever. The OM is still in full swing (really, I SWEAR I was not snooping, my W is just careless) because I found a earring she must have bought him for V-day (I don't wear an earring). Funny, but that didn't bother me. Like I said, I am doing all the DB stuff but it seems like all it has done is make my W extremely happy, getting to have me at my best (which is like a best friend I guess) and him doing whatever he does for her. I found myself at times during the ride home today thinking that in this scenario, I will just have to end things sooner or later because I am going mad living life without affection from a woman who, other than the fact that she won't touch me, seems like my W of 8 years. I suppose all this is normal?
