Ok all. I finally got locked down. I started a new thread a few days ago but I am abandoning that one. Please come here for my updates.
Journaling
Tiny bit of news. My W just called for no real reason. She does not do that. I don't remember the last time she did that. She just wanted to tell me she was done at the gym and had lunch and was wondering if I thought she should go home or just wait to pick up the kids. ????? I talked with her about it for a few minutes and then I probably screwed up again. I had told her I might go out for coffee with a friend tonight at Barnes and Nobel. I told her nothing was confirmed. Well, during this call, she asked me when I was going. I said I didn't know if I was and that I did need to go to the bookstore anyway so I may just take the boys when I got home from work. She said ok. Then I asked her if she wanted to rent a movie tonight, to which she said she didn't know what was out but sure, maybe. I am just feeling a different vibe from her since last night. I know not to buy into it, or expect anything, but I think I am going to casually explore it. This was the first time in more than a week that I talked to her this time of day, when I am reasonably sure she meets with him. Small sign? Sure, maybe. Nothing? Sure, maybe. In any event, I am going to try to stay in my center place as to not get flattened when the next thing hits...and we all know it will...
Excellent dude! I sending all the positive energy that I have your way. A good development indeed. Here's hoping that your weekend goes great. And remember to root for them Steelers for me, ok?
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
So now she calls me to ask what size pants I wear now. Remember, like most of you, I've lost a ton of weight. So I tell her and ask why. She says she's shopping and saw a funky pair of jeans that would look good on me. They're on sale and she's going to buy them for me...um... MUST......NOT.......READ........INTO..........THINGS........
I think it's a really positive sign that your wife is buying you clothes! You just don't do that for someone if you aren't putting a lot of thought into them. No way around it---this is a positive! Good for you. When she presents the jeans to you, go try them on for her. It will make her happy to see that you like them (and also to check to see if they fit!) Remember...it's in the little things...
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Complete agreeance with Hope here...it's kinda like the dating thing all over again...remember when you'd surprise each other with little things in the beginning. People tend to do little things for one another when they are trying to win affection, when they are feeling good about things and to make ammends...etc...when we're not feeling good about a sitch is when we pull back and become selfish. That's not what she's doing here. That's why I said it's like your dating all over again. So, absolutley model them for her...maybe with even a shirt or something she'd bought for you previously...like hey, these would go great with "such and such, don't you think?" Pull her into it the conversation...
Don't forget to remind her though, that since you lost weight jeans fit you differently now. Don't go into details, just let her imagine how exactly jeans would look on your new body
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
Try herbs first and see if they help - they most likely would. Anxiety and shakiness can be quite nicely relieved by the Valerian Root (capsules or tincture). Don't take too much since its sedative, and don't drive after you take it. And remember, even if it's a herb, it's potent.
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
I did try them on immediately. She also got me a shirt. They fit great. She said she got them for me because I just got some extra money and she remembered me saying I wanted to get some new clothes. It's something I guess. It does seem positive.
W and I just finished watching a movie together. I actually forgot for a moment that we are on the verge of ending our marriage. It was really like it used to be. I am a bit emotional now because I know it is a mirage. I enjoyed the moment fully and was "there" but I can't trust it. I did good guys. I was living for this moment and it felt really good but now I cry again. Mini roller coaster I guess. I think these things are positive, but when you have seen your spouse fool you into thinking that she was happy for so long, you realize that she has the capacity for great acting. It will take me a long time to trust the authenticity of anything she does. It's just the way it is right now. Overall, good night. Again, thank you so much for thinking of me. You are the best.
That is really great GH...I know the joy you must have felt...but you're smart to live for the moment and realize these WAW have ebb and flow to them right now...Keep up the good work.
