Reasonably well thank you very much! Have my lows, but they are getting further and further apart. A few weeks ago W and I were having a "talk" (see my other post about backsliding...) and she said I just need to be (W...maiden name) And now I understand from sources that she is using a new email addy w/ her maiden name... Still uses old addy to email me although that is very infrequent. Yesterday was the scheduling of her court date so she can go to court and say Yep, it's over... and get her D. I imagine my L will call me or send me a letter today telling me when it is, not that I'm going to go...
I took a quantum leap fwd in detaching this past week. I realize now that W has a lot of issues that aren't about me and she really does need to be on her own, stand on her own two feet and move on. And *maybe* in the future, as she says we can have a new R. I'm just not seeing it; she has said she's afraid of us being together and getting hurt... Never mind the fact that w/ all that's happened the past year, all the things she's done that I would be completely justified in BLOWING HER OFF.... I've not been mean/nasty or insenstive towards her. So my thought is that even if she ever does have second thoughts, she'll be too chickenSH-T to come to me and say, HEY, lets try this again... cuz she'll be to afraid of being rejected... So.... as I told my buddy...I'm not even going to think about what would I do, cuz it ain't gonna happen. I anticipate the D will be final by the end of the month. And I'll move on.
As an aside.... a lady friend that I casually see sometimes asked me to pick her and her daughter up from the airport over the weekend. My kids know she exists and we are friends.... At the last min. I took them along to meet her and we stopped to get something to eat. Everyone got along really well. That may be a R worth pursuing... Hmmmm.
So, even though things still suck, I'm doing okay. It really gets to me when I'm cooking dinner or when the kids are leaving to catch the bus...W used to stand at the door in the morning...I do too... but now she isn't here and it really sucks that the kids are missing out on her everyday presence. D14 (15 this week!) has made it clear that she doesn't like going to W's apt and that she prefers here. Also makes a point of talking to ME about the stuff in her life that is bothering her. Says she can't talk to mom... And given some of the stuff this almost 15 y.o. is saying I'm am blown away... Makes me feel like I'm not totally out of touch as a parent!
