Okay, so I GET IT that she's still pissed about the A 16.5 years ago...! Jeez. My C has done a remarkable job of FINALLY getting me to see that W is very immature and childish... That she pretty much took a back seat to everything in our marriage and let me drive the train so to speak and didn't want to take any responsiblity for "stuff". Example. Last week W and I had a R talk. She was griping about how tight I could be w/ money which is somewhat true. But I pointed out that for years I tried to get her to take over the bill paying and investing so she could see where all our money went and be aware. She never would. Now mind you I've always worked fulltime and some overtime. Even before the kids she only worked fulltime about 2 years out of the 5 and after kids she gradually cut back to the point that 2 years ago she was only working 12 hours a week. (1.5 days!)And then in Feb 04 quit completely other than teaching a class Sun. evening for 2 hours! So now, living on her own, she gripes about how expensive things are. Last week coming home from her Grandmothers funeral (we all went!) she was asking me what I thought four new tires on the van should cost and telling me about the quotes she got and how expensive they were. I just say Uh-huh.
Back to the C's comments. Wife had a fairly controlling Mother; seems like she wanted someone as a spouse that was going to run the show (more or less). And that not wanting to have anything to do w/ the $$ is someone that wants to be taken care of. I'm not your Daddy!
She's waiting to get a court date (probably next week or the following) and yet still tells me that "maybe in a year or so" "who knows what the future will bring". I don't even respond to these comments anymore. B/c I honestly don't think that she will do the necessary work on herself to become a fullfledged adult and be able to have a mature, loving, physically involved love life. One that is more than just "showing up". So, I'm going to enjoy life, date, have fun, and who knows...? I am however very conflicted; b/c I didn't believe in divorce (and as I told W, I'M NOT EVEN CATHOLIC!.... she is) And the gal that I've gotten to know over the past several months and have sorta dated has made it clear that she'd be open to MORE when I'm mentally/emotionally ready for more... Hmmmm.
