She's Hellbent to divorce!!!

[cat03]

Repeatedly I have been told by counselors, clergy and even her Sister in law that I am not the cause of this. That she has other issues, mostly w/ her now deceased Mother and feelings of lack of self worth, self esteem and not being loved etc…
At the divorce support group that I attend the point was made that this is such a familiar story and the LBS is the one that the WAS turns all their anger on… ...I know for fact that she is being treated for depression and she knows she’s depressed. Why her counselor can’t get it through her head that she needs to straighten out her problems and THEN worry about if a divorce is the answer I don’t know.

They are right. After weeks of having my H blaming me for all that went wrong between us he admitted that it was him who was having most of the problem. He had a traumatic childhood with an abusive father, even right now he has nightmares about it. If your W is being treated for depression it should help her clear her mind, I know meds take a while to work though.

They feel so confused and feel that by leaving the 'problem' marriage they are actually solving one of their problems. It is hard to feel this helpless, but they have to work it out on their heads. I pity my H, who seems a shell of the wonderful man I marry, depression and ADHD have make him an anxious man who doesnt' know what he wants.

I've DB and have regained my peace of mind, he's warmed up to me and we see each other often, go out and stuff, but he admits his mind still isnt' stable and still has to find out if he still loves me. That's how depression can eat up their minds, they just can't function nor live everyday life the way we do.

It also took a while before I stop beating myself about how I behaved in my marriage (controlling, bosy) I have changed for the better, and I think that is a big step on my favor.

Are you still loosing weight? 100 sound terribly low. When I was feeling like that my therapist prescribed me prozac, I was so horribly nervous and anxious. She's put you thought a lot, but don't let her take any more away from you. Hope you can reagain some of your appetite, this is a long road, so take care of yourself.